| i am alive |
[23 Apr 2006|07:20pm] |
|
sorry for not being around for a while...got fired from the dealership and i don't have any internet access at home...ill get back at all of you later.. love to everyone
|
|
| change of heart.... |
[29 Sep 2005|06:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 full |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
radio |
] |
so for the past couple of days i have been thinking about the whole sean ordeal. and i have come to a conclusion. i can't go see him. i can't even talk to him. i need to tell him and i don't think i can. i could never form the words to tell him something that will hurt him. i am a coward for this and i know it. but for my own sake and mental stability i can't deal with it. its been an ongoing thing for the past 10 years. i need to put it behind me. if it didn't work the first couple of times around its not going to work now. and he lives in colorado for god sakes. i love him...i do...i always will. but i just can't do it to myself.
i hope to god i am making the right desicion....
~edy
|
|
| ...sean... |
[11 Sep 2005|04:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 shocked |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
radio |
] |
i never thought id hear his voice again. ever. but he called. it had been a over a year since we spoke. now im going to CO at the end of next month to see him for the 1st time in over 3 years. its going to be wild, scary, nerve wrecking and wonderful. ive never seen snow either. he says its snows every night. i can't wait. i needed a vacation and heres the one ive always been waiting for. ive missed him horribly. im super excited. omg! i think im going to have a nervous breakdown before i get there. but ive made up my mind...im going...yes...oh man oh man...im going....holy crap!!
|
|
| adam made me do it..... =Þ |
[17 Aug 2005|08:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 ecstatic |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
radio |
] |
1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3) I'll pick a flavor/color of jello to wrestle with you in. (Maybe.)
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8) If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written!
|
|
|
[03 Jul 2005|03:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 melancholy |
] |
i didn't really get to say my goodbyes to steve-o. i couldn't even walk in the room at the service. it was too hard. i couldn't let my last memory of his face be that. i couldn't bear to look at him and not have him look back at me with those eyes of his and that smile that made the sun shine. i got as far as the doorway. the morning of steves service i went to find sylvia. i didn't think anyone would have even thought of looking for her. i found her and told her. she went. im glad she did. and i feel so guilty for not being around. i missed out on so much. i wish i had seen steve-o and jessica together. i never got to see the girl that stole his heart. his happiness always meant so much to me. ill say my goodbyes at his final resting place. alone. so i can say all the things i need to say and cry as much as i need to without all those people around. it was nice to see how many people steve touched in his life. i went to the pool hall a few hours after the services when i felt ready to be around ppl and i wore my MHF shirt and a complete stranger came up to me and asked me if i knew steve-o. His name was alfred and he had gone to middle school with steve. it was amazing to meet someone randomly that knew him.
i wish i said so many things. but its too late now. i can't think about you and not cry. i'll love you always steve-o and i'll miss you forever.
|
|
| at a loss...... |
[30 Jun 2005|06:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crushed |
] |
words cannot describe the shitty feeling i hold in my heart right now. steve is gone. hes really gone and i can't believe it. its so surreal.
adam and juan.....the three of you guys were my family for so long and i know i let you all down. and im sorry. and now i can never tell him how sorry i am. but i can tell you guys. im sorry i faded away. i love you guys and you guys will always be family in my heart. always. i miss you guys and im sorry im not around.
steve was filled with such an amazing light that i only hope touched everyone he ever met. he was such a beautiful person who was so amazing to be around. ill miss him sooo much....
In the arms of the angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you feel
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here
r.i.p. steve escobar
1983 to 2005
always loved and always remembered
|
|
|
[01 Jun 2005|02:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
Your Life Path Number Is 11 |
11
Your life path is greatly associated with spiritual awareness.
As one of the two master numbers, the 11 yields understanding and knowledge beyond the grasp of others.
The attitude toward life of those possessing this Life Path is somewhat extreme; extremely intuitive, avant-garde, idealistic, visionary, and cultured.
These extremes make you an interesting, if unusual person, with much to offer society.
The Life Path 11 person is deep-thinking, and you are no doubt interested in understanding many of life's mysteries and more intriguing facets.
Your inventive mind and broad-minded views will permit you to succeed in life in any number of ventures.
You can best serve society, however, in those endeavors utilizing your skills of counseling and guidance.
Much of your idealism is people oriented and quite humanitarian in nature.
You expect a great deal of yourself and of those to whom you are close.
On the negative side, there is a lot of nervous tension associated with the 11 life path, and you can be a difficult person to deal with because of this.
For this reason, relationships, at times, can be difficult.
This is a Life Path that seems to feature broad mood swings between the elation and depression.
You are likely to have trouble making decisions and getting your life in gear, so to speak.
There is a tendency for the 11 to harbor feelings of uneasiness, and dissatisfaction with accomplishments and personal progress in life.
Your grandiose schemes usually make sense, but you can get off the track and they can be very impractical.
You have a very distinct side that lacks common sense, and you are quite often unable to distinguish between fantasy and reality.
In this regard, you are perhaps more of a dreamer than a doer.
When you do get on target, your ideas seem to have been inspired on high.
Perhaps you are not a leader, but you are a visionary and a very talented idea person. |
|
|
| hmmmm |
[07 Apr 2005|04:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 indescribable |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
radio |
] |
well....life in the new place is going good....even better now...i can finally say i am happy. i have someone in my life right now that just makes me....just....feel amazing. i glow when hes around. just wow.....i don't wanna jinx it though...it almost feels too good to be true.
|
|
| new home for me!! YAY!! |
[24 Feb 2005|05:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hungry |
] |
well....tomorrow i am officially moving out of my moms again and into a townhouse with 2 of my girls. im SUPER excited. i needed to get outta my moms sooo bad. im glad that i will finally have a place to call my own. to be able to smoke a ciggarette in my bed will be one of my greatest joys! YES!!! oh man. brody and layla (the twins/my lil kitties) are totally gonna love it. im sooooooooooo excited. oh man, my nerves have been a wreck the last few days. but its over now and im moving in. what a relief...
|
|
| happy new year |
[31 Dec 2004|03:09pm] |
well another year has passed and its had its ups and downs, although the downs out weigh the ups. but i am looking forward to the new year with a new roomate and a new apt shortly after the new year begins. I miss old friends and i hope to make new ones. as far as new years resolutions go, i don't make them. i love everyone and i wish everyone the best.
love always
edy
|
|
|
[24 Dec 2004|12:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bouncy |
] |
since i wont be at a computer till sunday i just wanted to wish everyone a
VERY VERY VERY MERRY XMAS!!!
love you all!!
~edy
|
|
| ooooooh yea! |
[14 Oct 2004|04:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pleased |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
glasseater - everything is beautiful when u don't look down |
] |
i soooo got 2 new kittens!! They are orange and white with beautiful blue eyes. They are brother and sister and they are the most adorbale things i have ever possessed. The boy is named Brody and the girl is named Leyla. Leyla weighs 1.5 lbs. and Brody weighs 1.75 lbs. they are too fuckin cute! thier pictures will grace LJ very soon.
i was suppossed to get a white kitty but the lady at the vet said the owner still wanted to wait to give him away. So i told her nevermind cuz i wanted a little kitty, not a big one.
i went over to mikes house last night to take a nap with him cuz hes the bestest person to sleep next to and i set my alarm for 3:30 am and when it went off i looked at my phone, turned off the alarm and cuddled back up to mike. i didn't want to leave. i haven't slept so well in weeks. we got woken up at 7 in the morning by my mom calling me freaking out to where i was. whatever, she chilled out. i got home at like 8 and then i watched garfield the movie (thats right bitches, neil works at the video store so i get to rent shit a week before it hits the shelves) with brody and leyla and fell back asleep, while they were playing on the floor. When i woke up at 1pm they were both next to me sleeping! it was super cute!
i think im falling for mike, and i haven't decided if thats a good or a bad thing.
|
|
| hmmm.... |
[29 Sep 2004|08:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the radio on my computer |
] |
well i got evicted from my apt this weekend cuz Luisa decided she wanted to be a bitch and not pay her half the rent. She hadn't been to the apt in a month and a half. I went and paid my half of the rent at the office and she never went and paid hers. i could really hurt her. if i never saw her again it wouldn't bother me in the least. after all the stuff i did for that girl and this is how she repays me. stupid dumb bitch!!
I moved all my stuff out by monday morning and moved back to moms till i can find another apt. i think i got one lined up in the gables real cheap as a favor from someone.
Im also getting a kitty, white with blue eyes. I need a name for it as soon as i find out if its a girl or a boy. yipee!! im super excited. i love kittens!!! im gonna make my new kitty a camera whore! =Þ
i went back to school this semester, its whatever, not my fav thing. i hate school alot!!
i got a Nikon N2020 a lil while ago. i haven't tested her out yet. i will soon though!
i hope everyone is doin well!!
~edy
|
|
|
[10 Aug 2004|05:37pm] |
just wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to juan.
sorry i haven't been such a great friend.
|
|
| :::sigh::: |
[29 Jul 2004|04:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
indescribable |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
radio |
] |
i met someone named danny a few weeks ago through my friend mike.
he makes my heart race like no one else has before.
when he kisses me i get dizzy. no one has ever made me dizzy before.
i can't even concentrate on anything today.
i don't understand.
|
|
| im bored |
[23 Jul 2004|08:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
|
|
| stole from Jenni |
[23 Jul 2004|07:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
RULES - Bold everything you've done. Then, at the end add five more things - three that you've done, two you wish you've done.
01. Buy everyone in the pub a drink.
02. Swim with wild dolphins.
03. Climb a mountain
04. Take a Ferrari for a test drive.
05. See the Pyramids at night.
06. Hold a tarantula.
07. Take a candlelit bath with someone.
08. Say 'I love you' and mean it..
09. Hug a tree
10. Do a striptease.
11. Do a bungee or parachute jump.
12. Visit Paris.
13. Watch a lightning storm at sea.
14. Clean behind the fridge.
15. Stay up all night long, and watch the sun rise
16. Ask the/a question you've always been too embarrassed to ask.
17. See the Northern Lights.
18. Go to a huge sports game - football, rugby, baseball, American football, etc.
19. Create your own masterpiece.
20. Grow and eat your own vegetables.
21. Touch an iceberg.
22. Have an office relationship.
23. Sleep under the stars.
24. Compromise.
25. Change a baby's nappy/diaper.
26. Take a trip in a hot air balloon.
27. Watch a meteor shower.
28. Get drunk on champagne.
29. Take a luxury holiday.
30. Give more than you can afford to charity.
31. Look up at the night sky through a telescope.
32. Have an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment.
33. Have a food fight.
34. Bet on a winning horse.
35. Take a sick day when you're not ill.
36. Get a pet.
37. Ask a stranger out.
38. Have a snowball fight.
39. Photocopy your bottom on the office photocopier.
40. Scream as loudly as you possibly can.
41. Hold a lamb.
42. Enact a favorite fantasy.
43. Take a midnight skinny dip.
44. Hear the words 'I love you'.
45. Fly on Concorde.
46. Take an ice cold bath.
47. Have a meaningful conversation with a beggar.
48. See a total eclipse.
49. Ride a roller coaster.
50. Hit a home run.
51. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days.
52. Dance like a fool and not care who's looking.
53. Adopt an accent for an entire day.
54. Visit the birthplace of your ancestors.
55. Have a grand romance with costumes and everything.
56. Made up a screen-name to stalk someone.
57. Gone shopping for no reason.
58. Actually feel happy about your life, even for just a moment.
59. Just be held.
60. Have an adventure where nothing goes as planned.
61. Kissed someone you truly wanted to kiss.
62. Went clubbing and thought to yourself "I could out-dance them if I wanted to."
63. Called your relatives by their relationship in another language.
64. Have two hard drives for your computer.
65. Cuddled.
66. Visited all 50 states.
67. Love your job.
68. Taken care of someone who was shit faced.
69. Had enough money to be truly satisfied.
70. Have amazing friends.
71. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country.
72. Swim during a formal.
73. Stolen a sign.
74. Backpacked in Europe.
75. Taken a road-trip.
76. Rock climbing..
77. Nose piercing.
78. Midnight walk on the beach.
79. Sky diving.
80. Visit Ireland.
81. Saw what you wanted and did all it took to seize it.
82. Fell in love then fell harder and faster from heartbreak.
83. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had lunch/dinner with them.
84. Visit and/or tour Japan.
85. Bench press your own weight.
86. Stolen from your parents.
87. Alphabetized your records.
89. Pretended to be a super hero.
90. Sang karaoke.
91. Made someone cry for no good reason.
92. Lounged around in bed all day.
93. Posed nude in front of a room full of strangers.
94. Dressed sexy for no reason.
95. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye.
96. Kissed in the rain.
97. Played in the mud.
98. Played in the rain.
99. Gone to a drive-in theater.
100. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it...
101. Visited the Great Wall of China.
102. Fell in love with a job that has nothing to do with the degree you're pursuing.
103. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog.
104. Dropped Windows in favor of something better.
105. Started a business.
106. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken.
107. Toured ancient sites around the Mediterranean.
108. Taken karate.
109. Sword fought for the honor of a woman.
110. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight.
111. Got married.
112. Been in a movie
113. LARPed (whats that?)
114. Loved someone you shouldn't have.
115. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy.
116. Got divorced.
117. Had sex at the office.
118. Surprised yourself with a talent you didn't know you had.
119. Been to Macchu Picchu
120. Gone without food for 5 days.
121. Got a tattoo.
122. Lived outside the U.S.
123. Memorized a poem.
124. Successfully performed an inverted yoga pose.
125. Lived life deliberately.
126. Kissed a crush out of the blue.
127. Learned from my mistakes.
128. Made friends with the unlikeliest of people.
129. Told someone in no uncertain terms what you thought of them.
130. Got up one morning and decided to take a trip and then took it.
131. Made a promise and then carried through.
132. Designed a website.
133. Made a souffle.
134. Spoke at someone's funeral.
135. Been honest when it was not in your favor to do so.
136. Swanned around on a yacht.
137. Done the Rio Carnevale.
138. Got a diving licence.
139. Been to Tibet.
140. Been published.
141. Met someone famous.
142. Devised the Internet and e-mail protocols at work, and got them accepted as official company policy.
143. Had sex al fresco.
144. Done the Camino de Santiago, on foot or on horseback, all the way.
145. Won the lottery.
146. Shaved your head
147. Rode a horse bare-back
148. Witnessed a birth. (videos not live)
149. Gone to a convention.
150. Hiked the Grand Canyon
151. Traveled overnight by train from Spain to France.
152. Given birth
153. Worked at Disney World.
154. Visited London.
155. Driven cross country.
156. Had sex while another couple had sex in the same room
157. Had a vasectomy
158. Appeared on an album
159. Played on stage with your musical hero
160. Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans
161. Recorded in a studio
162. Lived alone
163. Lost 20+ pounds in a year
164. Boxed
165. Ran for public office
166. Gotten straight A's for a semester in college.
167. Tried a new drink I wasn't sure I'd like.
168. Become obssessed with a tv show that's been cancelled for a while.
169. Quit my job to go back to school full time.
170. See myself through another's eyes.
171. See the Earth from outer space.
172. Sat on the throne of England, even if not to rule, just rest your butt.
173. Write a novel the gets published
174. Gone to DragonCon and made out up with someone you didn't know before the event
175. Installed new windows in a house.
176. Gotten completely lost in a foreign city/country and had fun doing it
177. Played a part where you committed suicide on stage
178. Gotten a black belt in karate or other style of marital art
179. Held a proper dinner party, complete with the little napkin holder thingies on the table
180. Bought something for someone completely anonymously and never owned up to it
181. Build fence by hand (and tools used with hands; no let me stand there and watch it get done) in 120 degree weather
182. Worked a 14 hour shift on your day off
183. Been chased by stampeding horses
184. Jumped into a ceiling fan (full body not your arm or something like that)
185. Get suspension rings in my back
186. have sex with someone just to get back at someone else
187. danced naked on a stage
188. done drugs not knowing what they were
189. Been to australia
190. killed someone
191. been to a strip club enough for the ppl that work there to know your name.
192. Lived with a stripper
193. owned a ranch or have a family member that owns one.
194. Driven a 1967 Ford Mustang Shelby GT 500.
195. been so in love with someone and you haven't seen that person in years that even to this day they still cross your mind atleast once a day.
|
|
|
[14 Jul 2004|05:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 gloomy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
3 doors down - here with out you |
] |
My great grandmother passed away this morning. It was her birthday today. She lived exactly 99 years.
R.I.P. Abuela
*July 14, 1905 to July 14, 2004*
She lived a very long and very exciting life.
So sad to see you go but so glad you were in my life. Love you forever. You will always be in my heart.
|
|
| Shake it like a Salt Shaker |
[14 Jun 2004|05:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
radio |
] |
Well my birthday has come and gone. It was one of my best birthdays EVER.
Recap:
Friday night I went to Sandbar in the Grove with Kelly, Neil, Raul, Ruel, Pierre, Chris, Braulio and a few others. i danced the night away till they turned on the lights and kicked us out. Then most of us went over to Mr. Moes and just sat around and talked. Raul and I had a very nice conversation at the bar. I like how comfortable I am with him. I love just sitting around and just talking to him and having a beer. Hes soo great. I got Kelly SUPER drunk. it was great. Got home just before the sun came out.
Saturday I was suppossed to go to the beach with Kelly, Rose, and Neil but we slept all day instead. I got outta bed at like 5 in the afternoon. Kelly, Neil, and Rose came over and we headed out to my moms for a bbq. It was nice. Karen came by with her parents. I wish my cousin had come by though. That woulda been AWESOME!! Keila called me at like 1130 and told me she was gonna cover for me on Sunday. That girl is sooo the greatest. Got home earlier than usual and couldn't sleep. Oh well.
Sunday I stayed in bed until 7 in the afternoon. Went to the pool hall and talked with Raul for a lil while. Went with Neil and Rose to pick up Kelly from work. Came back, played a lil pool and played some spades then went home.
So overall my weekend was Great!! I hope everyone else had a good one aswell.
<3
~edy
|
|